Disc Golf - in the Now

The new year.

2006-01-06T02:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I am back. It has been over eight months since the last time I've blogged, so it's about time. Hi all my readers ( who stopped checking my blog about seven months ago )! So here I am, and there you are. Welcome into this new year. It's only in our heads you know. Time I mean. This whole "new year" business. Now is the same no matter when it is. The present is always the present. Ah well.

So I'm back at my blog, and I think it's about time I started meditating again. I also am setting a goal for myself to finish reading all of the books I own in this year. I will be signing up for two classes at College of the Redwoods this semester, Geology and History 5 (over the TV).

It is good to be back in the land of the living. I have been dead for a while, and I didn't enjoy the lack of life it entailed.

Love,
John

Everything is not.

2005-04-30T13:59:00.000-07:00

Freedom can not be given of taken away. Not by voilence and hate. Not by governments and guns. Not by men and women. Freedom is. To be free, you first must choose to take the responisiblilty that comes with it.

Just a thought.

Doctor... Who?

2005-04-20T03:24:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boy's and Girls, fellow readers of blogs... I have an anouncement to make. I don't know if any of you have ever watched, let alone heard of, a television show from the BBC called Doctor Who, but that doesn't matter because I'm going to go on whether you know what I'm talking about or not. My anouncement is this... After a fifteen year hiatus in TV neverland, the show Doctor Who is back! That's right, the BBC are making brand new episodes with new actors and what seems to be a fairly sizable budget.

Now, this news might not seem like much to you(especilly if you are one of the ones who don't know what I'm talking about), but to me it's huge. When I was growing up, all throughout my childhood my mother and I would watch Doctor Who. She got me hooked on the british science fiction/comedy show at about the age of eight, and I stuck swith it ever since. Between the two of us(mostly her though) we managed to record just about every episode of Doctor Who that ever aired(at least that aired in the US). The show has been running since the late 60's. That's alot of VHS tapes folks. Stacks and stacks of the small black boxes that contained several hours of my favorite childhood delight. I would stay up late at night with my mom just watching episode after episode. And if I was getting bored with some of the show, I could simply switch which stack of tapes I was watching from and BAM! I've got a whole other decade of styles that affected the show.

So, now the good Doctor is moving into modern times. I have to admit that I had almost forgoten about Doctor Who until I stumbled upon a random chunk of info about a new episode.

I'm so excited that I could explode!

I'm vibrating... man, someone should take advantage of my vibraty powers.

Good night world of my dreams.

Happy Joy... joy?

2005-04-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Joy Joy, Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Joy!

Man, put that to some music and we've got a party. I'm just in a really good mood today. I'm waking up earlier thatn I have in a very long time. It is so nice to wake up and have time to slowly make breakfast, eat, shower, and then have enough time to read some of a book before school. Today I have no school, but that just makes it an even better day. The only thing over the summer semester that I might take would be Phil1 Critical Thinking. Hmmm... should I take it or not? I will think on that.

That reminds me of another thing that I have to think on. Ron, one of my bestest buds, has planned a trip to Napal in september and wants me to go. That's right, I said Napal, as in the Himalayas! I would love to go, and it's only two thousand dollars, which is not much for a trip like that, but I have responsiblilities here that I must remember. I'm pretty certain that I won't go, but Ron wanted me to think long and hard about it and, as he said, "don't answer until it's the right answer."

How silly he is sometimes. Ahh, I love him. I am glad I got to spend time with Kirsten last night and the night before as well, even if it was for about five minutes at a time. She is great to talk to and to hug. I nearly started crying the other night because I was depressed and she was asking me what was wrong. Everything and nothing. I am greatfull to that depression and the others I will undoubtably face throughout my life because it helps me to remember that I don't have to be happy to enjoy my life. Just because I might be suffering doesn't mean that I can't enjoy a great sunset and beautiful moon. Or enjoy the adorable smile of a woman who was in my math class.

Well, I'm putting a word in with some gods to get sun on Saturday. I think I'm going to try to have a shish kabob party over my firepit. We will see how it goes.

Manders got a new computer, yeah!, and that's what I'm using right now because she took the cable modem to her room. I have to set up a network so we can both use it, but I need to wait until Ron gets my network hub and cable to me. That's ok, he can take his time. I need to spend a little less time on my computer anyway.

Love the rain.

It's a sin not to go see Sin City.

2005-04-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

Now one of my all time favorite movies, Sin City blew me away. I went and saw the matinee showing today, and man was it a work of art. I am already a huge fan of writer/director Robert Rodriguez (El Mariachi, Desporado, Once Apon A Time In Mexico), and this is his best work yet. I'm not normally much of a fan of the detective nior or the comic book genre movies, but this one was just that good. A superbly chossen cast, divine music score, and genius writting make this movie a big hit. Plus, Frank Miller, the writer/creator of the Sin City graphic novels, was a co-director on the movie, so it stayed true to his vision. Quinten Tarrontino also make a guest directorial apperance in the movie.
So what is it about you might ask... Well, it is a composition of several short crime/detective stories that take place in Sin City, and they all connect at one point or another. One of the stores is about a noble cop who has to go up against a crooked senator and his child raping son, while another story is about an ex-felon who while physically unstoppable, is disgustingly ugly. One beautiful hooker named Goldie comes to him for his strength and loves him for a night, and she is murdered in the bed while he sleeps. Because she was one of the only people who has ever shown him kindness, and because he loves her, he goes on a mission to track down her killer and dispense some of his own brand of justice.

So, the movie was great, and I got to spend almost all weekend with Sarah and Tim. Yeh! It was very nice. We went to Pizza King play some pool and had a pizza while we were there. Not the best pizza I've ever had. Good crust though. Then we left to get somemore money, and went to Wing Wah's to eat since we were still hungry. Great meal. Then it was back to the movie theatre to play some more pool and some air hockey. Sarah talked Tim and I into playing a game of Dance Dance Revolution. We were both absolutely terrible at the game. I'm not much of a video game person anymore so the game wasn't that appealing, although it is definatly a source for some good excercise.

Almost finished reading book ten of the Series of Unfortunate Events. Man these books are good. It's not the main characters that keeps me reading, but the mystery that is Lemony Snicket. I just want to dive in and not come up until I find the truth. The writting is superb!

Well, I'm happy because I finally got FluxBox running on my laptop. For those that don't know, FluxBox is a window manager for the Xwindows system on the Linux operating system. I've tried a few other linux OS's since my laptop came bundled with Linspire and I don't really like it, but it works well, and I havn't had time to really play with the other ones anyway. Since the KDE (another, more popular and powerful window manager) runs pretty slow on here I decided to try FluxBox, which is much smaller and faster, though much more technically based. I don't mind, I used to be a full fledged computer geek. I can still pick my way through learning systems here and there. It just takes me time.

Man am I enjoying Aikido! It is absolutely great! The philosophy behind it is just what I've been looking for. I just hope that more people start up soon. I can only take the Saturday classes because I work on weeknights, and so far I'm the only one comming in on Saturday. If any of you reading this are interested in taking Aikido, or know someone who might be, please tell them to come down to the Pacific Aikido Club, in the same building as the Good Harvest Cafe, next Saturday at 10:00 AM.

Thank you for this life.

SuSE is NiCE.

2005-04-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

I seem to finally have settled on a distribution of linux, and that would be SuSE. It comes from Germany, and is very well put together. Not only is it very powerful, and secure, but easy to install and it detected all of my hardware right off the bat. So I am now content to stop searching for a better linux. The most important thing about SuSE is that it runs great on my laptop!

So, the BBQ went well. It was nice to have everyone here, though I wouldn't mind to have some more people next time. Yes, there will be another cookout/gettogether sometime in the near future. I'm thinking of somemore vegetarian foods this next time. I'm not a vegetarian, but I really ate too much meat at this last BBQ. I love meat, but I find that I eat it less and less, and feel better and better. Hmmmm.

I'm having a terrible time nailing down a topic to research for my English1A paper. I can't settle on anything, and the ideas that I do like I can't find any good sources for. Very frustrating. I'm already late on getting my plan in to. I need a topic and fast.

Short post this time. I'm very tired and think I'll go drop in bed now. I'd like to thank those of you who are my readers and you who have commented. Thank You.

Happy day all!

Writting on my blog...

2005-04-01T03:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm doing it. I'm writting on my blog. I keep telling myself that I will do it, and everynight I don't, so tonight I am. Hello to the person that told Ben about my blog. I don't know who you are, but thank you for reading, and please feel free to post a comment every now and then. I must say that I apprieciate you telling Ben to say "I like to live in the now" to me, because I havn't been living in the now very much lately, but once I heard those words it spurred my memories of what it is like and zoom! Back to the now. It is very enjoyable to be in the now. Not only is it fun, but it is productive too. I get more quality work done, on anything, when I'm in the now.

Bar-be-que on Saturday this weekend. I'm planning to have one at least, and because I've told so many people to stop by, I guess I'd better actually prepare for it. We have lots of ground beef in the fridge, but I think I need to get some steaks too, maybe some ribs as well. We will see.

Before the BBQ I am going to start Aikido lessons for the first time that morning. I've been wanting to take Aikido lessons for a very long time now. So yeah!

Oh, another thing... right after I got to work today, this really cute gay couple came in. They must have been from a larger city, because they had style (a thing which Crescent City is sadly lacking). The taller of the two was very cute, looked like he was really in shape, and for some reason reminded me ever so slightly of the comedian Andy Dick. ???

Last night I took the greatest shower of my entire life! It was so good. I scrubbed my skin as hard as I could with my loufa and I got everywhere! Even my scalp. It's been a long time since I have gone over my body with a thurough hard scrubbing. And my hair is awesome! I love how long it is now. It's so soft and shiny too. :)

I had a nice communion with some of the house plants last night as well. I was watering them and I accidentally brushed my hand against one of the leaves(don't know the names of the kinds of plants, but it was the erection plant). I suddenly noticed the life force of the plant, like it has always been there. Of course it has always been there, but I just felt it for the first time lastnight, and it was beautiful! I petted the leaf some and felt the flowing of energies between the plant and myself. It was similar to feeling the energies of another person, but in a plant! This makes me very happy because I've never been sensitive enough before to feel energies from plants. Perhaps another way to look at this is that I never had my mind quiet enough to notice those energies, but have always been sensitive enough. I think it is the latter that is the truth. We are all capable of everything, we just don't know it or have the stillness and focus of mind (or spirit) to access our vast abilities.

Thou art God. I am God. We are all God.

Good night God.

29 days later...

2005-03-29T03:39:00.000-08:00

Good God! I've had this laptop for 29 days now and this is my second post on my blog. I mean come on! I've even had the internet at home for several weeks, and it's cable! No waiting! Jeez, way to not write on my blog at all john. Manders! Stop hopping in my head.

Ok..... Clear the mind.

Welcome to my blog. I am back now.

Had a tasty (homemade) sushi dinner for easter with friends Vanessa and Aimee(spelled it correctly!) from work. The sushi was soo good! Mad props to Aimee.

Just watched the Rammstien video for 'Sonne', and I must say it was enjoyable. The whole snowwhite theme with a twist. Plus all of the beefy, sweaty, dirty, german men...

...enough said.
Well, Amanda's boy is back. Yeah Amanda! Hi Chris.

Here is a great short story I just read from the site "http://www.short-stories.co.uk/":

They're Made out of Meat
By: Terry Bisson

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

the end

Wasn't that fun! This is my longest ever post, although you have to take into account that most of it is quoted from the story. Oh well. At least I got on here and typed something out, even if it is 4 in the morning and I have class at 11. Hmm.... Shit. I'd better go to sleep... right... NOW!

-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-z-Z-

Got ya! Hehehe, but no really, it's bed time.

Night neverland.

Laptop of Joy!

2005-03-01T12:05:00.000-08:00

Our laptop has finally arrived! Phew! It is nice and shinny and stuff. Linux is excellent. So much nicer than windows. I look forward to getting internet access. :)

Well, I'm very sad too, because Sam got fired from work. I don't know why, and she doesn't either. I'm going to try to find out though. I thought that she was doing great, and she was definately fun to work with. But Staley hired Brandon, which I didn't think anything strange about because we still needed more help, and once he was trained Staley gave Sam the boot. I was very furious last night because of this. I wanted to talk to Staley about it, but had to wait several hours just to calm down, I didn't want to say anything out of anger that I would regret. Even after waiting, when I talked to Staley on the phone, I felt all of my anger and frustration rise up to take control. Luckily I grabbed it by the horns and kept in control of myself, but it was a very bumpy ride. I have to say that it felt great to let out some of my frustrations, and that the conversation was a little rude from both of us at first, Staley and I calmed down and decided that we do need to talk more in the future. There is a big communication issue, and I'm sure it's not just Staley talking to me, but also me talking to Staley. Hopefully we can talk out of work sometime, like maybe on a Saturday. I do like working for Staley and Steph. Staley is a person like all of us, and I try to give him due respect. I just get very frustrated sometimes because of the lack of communication. I look forward to our impending talk, and hope that we resolve our blockages in communicating to one another.

Ahh... Sam. I'm sorry that you got fired. I hope she finds another job very soon, because I know she needs the money. It's her birthday this Saturday too. Speaking of which, I need to go shopping. Hmm... Sam, you are so cute. I'm glad that I have a friend in Sam. While I'm not looking for a relationship (girl friend/boy friend stuff makes me yak) I wouldn't mind at all if we just happened to have a steamy romantic encounter some time. ;)

Ok, enough typing. Time to go home and play with my new toy.

Love

The horrors of television!

2005-02-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Today in English class, we discussed an article Stephen King wrote about why people like to watch horror movies. His main idea for a cause was that we are all crazy, but in varying degrees, and that we all have a dark side. Our emotional and mental systems need use in order to remain functional, just as our muscles do. It is King's idea that horror movies provide us a service by allowing us to exercise our dark side. "Love is all you need, as long as you keep the gators fed."
Ken restated King's idea thusly: Horror films satisfy our need for violence. These movies are a catharsis for our psyche; they vent our dark and violent tendencies and keep the gators satisfied so that they don't try to escape.

Stemming from this line of thought, I came to an interesting explanation for modern day life. Horror films satisfy our need for violence so we don't have to act violently in our life. Other films and television provide us with stories that satisfy a huge range of other possible needs that we have. Therefore, if we watch television and movies with enough range of emotional food, then we don't actually have to do much of anything in life to satisfy our needs.

This theory does not apply to everyone of course, but I believe that it does apply to a large portion of the population. I have talked to people who just sit in a chair and watch shows or movies, one after the other, for days on end. These people tend to have nine-to-five jobs and yearn to come home for their next media fix. I should know, after all I used to be one of these people. I lived almost entirely inside of movies, television shows, and computer games. I made the stories that I experienced through these medias as reality, and my real experiences grew dull and lifeless. Real life lacked a certain quality, like all of the colors were dulled. After some major changes in my life, mainly from the influence of good friends, I gave up television and computer games entirely. I still watch movies a lot, although not so much seeking the escape that I used to yearn for. I also read a lot of books. I find that books are a bit different in the way you receive the story. You have to work for it. You have to put in the time to get the whole thing, where as with television you can just sit back and the story is fed to you. Of course you can still become overly engrossed in books and lose touch with the world, but I feel that it is much less likely then with television.

Now that I am off of the television addiction, I exercise, and ride my bike, and enjoy doing things for real, instead of just watching someone else doing them. I have a much better taste for life, and the colors are so bright sometimes they are almost blinding. One time, while I was working at a pizza place, a customer asked me if I had seen such and such an episode on television I said that I hadn't because I didn't watch television. The customer was shocked. "You don't watch T.V.?" she said. "What do you do for fun? Your life must be very boring!" Consider the irony in her statement. I have found that my life is anything but boring ever since I stopped watching television.

Now, get out there and live!

English-my long lost friend.

2005-02-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

Now that the spring semester here at CR is in full swing, I have realized just how much I had missed the subject of English. I am taking English 1A with Ken Letko, and I'm really enjoying it. The class is knowledgable and fun, and the homework is good practice, while it is not too much work. Our first paper is a remembered person paper. I've already turned in my plan for it, and while I havn't sat down and started on the first draft yet, I look forward to doing so. When I went to type up the plan last thursday I was a bit nervous that I would not be able to think of anything to write. I chose my late grandfather as the subject of my paper. After a few minutes, however, the words just started flowing of their own accord, and I had a plan done in no time.

This class, and many more English classes I look forward to taking, are very important to me now, since it is a writer that I want to aspire to. At present, however, I do not write very often, and even though I know it is important I seem to lack the self discipline to get myself to write more.

I did order a laptop off of the internet yesterday, so I will be able to use a computer at home, and soon (maybe with in the next month) will have internet accsess at home. YAY!

"There is only NOW."

Love.

The year 2005.

2005-01-08T01:34:00.000-08:00

It is a good year. This 2005 will be wonderful! I get very excited about things to come, but I try not to "look forward" to them. I do try to stay centered in the now, because really, if I always look forward to things, then I miss the life that is happening right now, and never stop looking.

When I was younger, I always wondered when I would find what I wanted to do and then start living life. It took me so very long to learn that I had been living this entire time. Life is always happening to us, we just get so caught up in the future or the past that we don't see it.

My current goal is to learn my self. Through meditation and self analysis I will learn the inner workings of my body, mind, and spirit, and their relations to each other as well as to the world outside of me. I feel like a scientist! I suppose that I am a scientist, except that I'm dealing with the spiritual instead of the scientific. And who knows... maybe in a few decades, science will incorporate this aspect of life as well. Perhaps the world will learn as I learn. This sounds a lot like wishful thinking, but it's a nice thought all the same.

I have recently noticed a very beautiful friendship growing between myself and someone that I work with. I searched my self and discovered that I care about her immensly. Today I asked her if all had gone well with a thing that she had had to do earlier, and she gave me a hug. I would actually call it a "huggle", which is what I call a hug and a snuggle, because she leaned her head against me and sent her energy into me. That huggle made me so happy, I felt like I was glowing. The reason is because in the energy she sent to me, I felt her love returned to me. I felt her appreciation of my friendship and of my caring what happens to her. It was a connection that I have experienced few and far between. It was the kind of loving hold that I would like to hold the world in. I would even say that I felt to be at one with god in that huggle. While outwardly the embrace lasted only a minute or so, the experiencing of it was as long as a lifetime. To my friend... thank you.

I have also been trying to enstill a little discipline into my being by trying myself to go to sleep at the same time every night. I now see that it is getting past that time, so I must go, do my meditation, and then join the world in sleep.

Thank you.

Love.

The Math Empire has fallen!

2004-12-06T13:21:00.001-08:00

Phew! I just finished my Algebra final. It's over, hahaha, it's finally over!

May DOOM rain down upon the heads of all of my DOOMED enemies!

Oh wait, I don't think I have any enemies. And I'm fresh out of DOOM anyway, soo just forget I said anything.

Love

Baby Day!

2004-12-01T10:59:00.000-08:00

Yay! I'm out here in Fort Dick with Sarah and her little brother Jackob and little sister Autumn. I love these babies. They are so beautiful and fun. I love to watch them learn about the world, and about how their bodies work. They can both stand on their own now, though it is still a fight for balance. Also they have both taken a few steps by themselves. Little people amaze me.

I had an excellent night last night. I did the dishes (for once), took a bath and read some more of "The Picture of Dorian Gray", and I meditated for about half of an hour before bed. I was very present all night, starting after work.

Love

The sweet life.

2004-11-29T13:28:00.000-08:00

I just finished my math test today, and it was easy! Whew! I feel so much better about it now that I took it. Only the final left, and I'll be finished with math, for a while at least. It is amazing how much I have actually learned from Sue. She is a great math teacher, and I feel that if I had had her as a teacher in highschool, then I probably would have been able to learn algebra back then. Although that might not be totally true, because I actually wanted to learn it now, where as back then I didn't want to learn anything.

I spent some time with Sam last night before she left for school again. I really enjoyed that. We talked alittle, and she snuggled with me a little and that was all, and I loved it. I really look forward to seeing her over Christmas break. I don't want to say that I'm in love, because I don't believe in story book love anymore, and if it was that love, I wouldn't trust it. But I will say that I am definetly in "like" with Sam, and I am very attracted to her. Oh, let's face it... She's beautiful!

Ok, well I am going home to work on my justice paper for philosophy. Only two more papers left in this semester.

Love.

Living well!

2004-11-22T13:52:00.000-08:00

I have had such a wonderful weekend! It started at nine o'clock, on Saturday morning. Grant picked me up and we drove up to Rock Creek Ranch. I worked all day, cutting wood, moving piles of brush, cleaning out gutters, etc. Except it wasn't really work... not with all of that beauty around me. It was cold though. I also got the chance to meet a couple really interesting people. I meet Clarke, the site manager of the ranch, and Kent and David. Spending the night at the ranch were Kent, David, Grant, myself, and Daryl the care taker of the ranch. We all pitched in and had a wonderful meal of salmon, pasta, and salad. While it was freezing, it was so nice to sleep with only the sounds of the river and wild animals in the woods.

Grant and I came back to town early Sunday morning, and I went to the Eckard Tolle hour at Ron and Kirsten's house. I cherish this hour very much, because thanks to Eckard Tolle, I have actually made progress on quieting and controlling my mind. Then I went home, had a shower, ate some lunch, and enjoyed my recently cleaned and reorganized room. Then I went to the Gym with Sarah and Amanda, where I bought a punch card pass, and Sarah walked my through the different types of equipment. I loved working out there! It felt great!

Soon after working out (and another shower) it was time for medatation, once again at Ron and Kirsten's. My body felt so healthy and vibrant, that my mind folllowed. I found that I could stay aware the entire hour and a half of medatation. Once in a while my focus would fall from the top of my head, or else my thoughts would start to chatter alot, but I was able to realize this, and by mentally telling myself to keep my attention high, I could bring myself back into the medatation with a relatively quiet mind. I am very happy to see the advancement I have made. Practice really does help in all parts of your life!

Speaking of practice, I must go practice some math homework. I only have one more chapter test, and then the final.

Love.

The eternal calculator?

2004-11-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

In math class today, Sue Gold mentioned that we don't need to know how to do certain types of math by hand because we have calculators. Now while she was only applying this statement to math that we would probably never use in life, it still made me feel uneasy. If nobody learns how to work out these math functions by hand anymore, then what happens if the world no longer has computers to work them out. We would have to learn it all over again, from the begining, as a race.
Now, many people might say that this is just silly because calculators are here to stay. I disagree, because of PLASTIC. Most of the calculator is made of plastic, and I don't just mean the case it's in, but the functioning parts as well. This goes for larger computers too. Now, where does plastic come from? Well let's think for a minute... we make plastic, it is completly man made. But what do we make it out of? Oh no... we plastic out of oil. That's right! And it would certainly seem that the world is quickly running out of oil.
While only ten years ago people were saying that the problem of our oil running out globally was too far in the future to worry about, it would seem that now there are many more people worried, and for good reason. For one thing, there is still a war being fought in Iraq that is based soley on gaining access to as much oil as possible.
This is why comments that show our dependency on calculators and computers worry me so much. It is really our dependency on oil which, it would appear stems much farther then simply fuel for our vehicles and power for our buildings. If you aren't worried about what will happen when the oil runs out, then think about these few questions:

What is our society like today?

How much plastic makes up the things we have come to depend on?

What do you think people will do when they can no longer manufacture any more plastic?

How much knowledge that we now depend on computers to remember for us might
be lost?

Hmmmm.... Well, I'm finished being worried about it. I'm just going to focus on either changing this possible future, or else preparing for it.

Love!

What the BLEEP do I know?

2004-11-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

I went down to Arcata with some friends yesterday and had a hell of a good time! It was nice to get out of Crescent City and stretch my social skills a little. We went disc golfing at a new course at pump station four. I must admit that playing on a different course for once was very liberating. Next we had lunch at a Turkish deli. Falafel is damn good stuff! After this was a quick shopping trip to Costco (blah, shopping is a necessary evil), and then we went to see the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know?". This is the next DVD I will be buying, as soon as it comes out. This movie is a must see, very incitefull. I was left in a medatative state by the end. There is alot to learn in this one movie. The premise of "What the Bleep" is a story, backed with documentary style interviews, that basically helps the average person to understand BIG philosophical questions, and Quantum Mechanics. It is wonderful!
So, after the movie we ate a snack of sushi at Tomo's, and then spent a half an hour of pure bliss at the Finnish hot tubs. Ohhhh, the bubbles are so nice.

Work is going well. I am now basically the night manager. Rob got fired, and Luis quit right after. I do miss the guys. I need to try to track down their phone numbers.

Math Test of DOOM!

2004-10-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

Wow, that one took me a long time to do. I think that I did well. I was a little fuzzy on this one because of missing math class last week, and because I haven't done any of the last three homework. All of my time has been going to the haunted house.
Speaking of the haunted house, we opened this past weekend and it was great. Lot's of screaming was to be heard all night long. Yeah!

I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't been doing homework. I've been constantly exhausted. I think that it's time to take my life back. I have one more weekend at the haunted house, and then I'm free. No more projects for me until the semester is over!

I have been thinking of ideas for a haunted house to do in the future. I would like to make one that is more original and creative, not just the same old spooky Halloween stuff. I'd like to design it so that those walking through it would really get scared, not so much shocked, but scared. Very realistic, with heavy emphasis on the lighting. Do a lot with the environment and structure, and less with people actually jumping out for scares. I've got several rooms designed in my head already, and I have some vague ideas about some more. If anyone would like to share an idea for a haunted house with me, please do. I want to do this house in Crescent City, but have no idea how I would finance it. Maybe I could pitch it to the Rec. Department. We'll see.

Ron got back from Panama last night (he's been gone for two weeks now) and he brought a really delicious rum back with him. Very smooth and tasty! I was slightly surprised that he didn't bring and tequila back, for he collects it almost everywhere he goes. It's really good to have him back. I'll be helping him with his costume so that he can help in the haunted house this coming weekend.

Being in the "now" is sometimes very hard. That's the real trick to it I think. When it's the hardest to be in the now, it is actually the easiest, you are just trying too hard. If I can just let go, of everything, then I'll feel much better. Let go and wake up to the world.

See you in eternity.

Beauty in Death

2004-10-14T15:07:00.000-07:00

Jack Nickolson is wonderful! I just watched "Five Easy Peices" and loved it.

I had an absolutely wonderful time during philosophy this morning. I actually got alot of writting done based on the opening questions to the chapter on SELF. I realize that it is a life long job to learn who and what my Self is. Knowing this, I look forward to every breath I take as a new thing to learn. Pain can be absolutely wonderful. Of course it does hurt, but does it really? Push past the hurt and see it for what it truly is. Pain is you interacting with this world (one of many ways).

Death is also very beautiful and comforting to me. I do not seek an early death, but I will welcome her when she comes to claim me. I do not see death as an end, but merly an end to the begining. This life is and will continue to be wonderful and amazing, and when it is over, I will have oh so much more to explore and undterstand. I also do not think the death of others bad, although again I would not wish it (unless of course you're a real jerk). That doesn't mean I would not be terribly sad if those I love died, of course I would be upset, but my sadness is purely for selfish reasons. I will not get to experience that person any longer, so it makes me sad. I don't think that anyone can truly feel any other way without fooling themselves about it. We don't know what others think, we can never truly know. All we have are the ideas we give to them as we try to interperet them in our life.

Enough of death and life and philosophy for now. Let's go eat some cake! :P

Enjoyment.

2004-10-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

I enjoy my job. I enjoy school. I enjoy my friends, old and new. I enjoy my life in general. I finished my paper on truth, it's alittle late, but at least it is done. I was slow to start, but once I got into it, it flowed nicely.
I still have to do my math homework tonight. I'll get to it. Right now I'm going to spend some time on my costume. Thank you everyone for all of your lovely comments. I hope you all enjoy writting them as much as I do reading them.
Oh, and Silly, I remember you said you were from Germany. To answer your question, I took three years of german in high school. Unfortunetaly I can't remember as much as I would like. It took me a little while to translate all of your message. Maybe you would do me the honor of helping practice the language?

Good night Neverland.

Hot Wax Blues

2004-10-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

Well, last night I had an interesting experience with some wax. One of the tea candles I had burning next to my bed decided that it was no longer content with only burning the wick, so it ignited the entire pool of melted wax. This created a rather large flame which I wanted to snuff out as soon as possible. The problem came not with putting out the flame, but with knocking the candle on it's side and dousing my left wrist with burning hot wax. Yummy! I'm fine, just a little sore, but I will keep a closer eye on my candles from now on.

I got my math test back today, and I'm ecstatic with my grade. 98%! I still find it hard to believe that I'm learning math. I've struggled with the whole concept of math all my life, but now it is sinking in and making much sense. Yay!

I suppose I should get off of this computer now and go work on my Philosophy paper... hmmm. It's easier to say that then to actually get up and do it. I need to spend at least an hour on my Halloween ( thanks for the correction ) costume tonight as well. It's going to be cutting it close, because I have to have it ready for a haunted house that I'm volunteering at up in Brookings. I also have to go up there and get the room that we're using decorated (we = myself, Ron, and Jarrod). The theme of the room is going to be a spooky jungle, and our costumes are that of the alien hunter, the Predator.

Well, here I go. Auf wiedersehen.

Paper Mache Life.

2004-10-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

The last time I used paper mache was when I was about six years old. I didn't get much enjoyment out of it then, it just didn't stick in my mind. Now however I have discovered a vast satisfaction from it.
I have been working diligently on my Holloween costume(especially since time is running short), and just started paper mache-ing part of it tonight. I see that it is possible to use paper mache to make inexpensive art, but as long as you put the time and care into it, your project will look as good as with any other medium.
I just hope I can finish my costume in time.

I need to go to sleep, Math is looming over my head. At least I finished my homework early this weekend. Now I just have to write a paper on "Truth" for Philosophy. That's due Tuesday, so I suppose I should get to working on it, but I just can't bring myself to start yet. I'm terrible about procrastinating, especially when it comes to papers. Sigh...

Guten Abend

First Post.

2004-10-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

This is my very first post. I'd like to thank Samantha for turning me on to Blog's. As for what the future holds? We can only wait and see what blogs may come.